Triggered by Jealousy

Before I started trying to make a baby, I was always so happy for people when they announced that they were having a baby. So excited to see cute baby pictures that made me smile.

About 6 months in I really started getting resentful towards other women who were getting what I wanted. I started unfollowing people online so I didn't have to see it, without even a second thought I was axing people on twitter and instagram because I didn't want to see their sonograms, their bump pictures and them getting those beautiful babies.

The rage and the jealousy got larger as time went on. I found myself making snide remarks about other people getting babies before me, especially couples that got married after me. As more and more woman got pregnant at work, I would exclaim profanities to get out my rage, why would this never be me?

Sometimes I feel like a huge bitch for feeling this way. These women did nothing to me, they don't deserve it. I just can't help feeling like I'm being cheated. No matter how hard I try and all the right things I do, I can't make a baby. Not yet at least.