Dead Weight

When I started with my RE, my paperwork informed me that if I needed to do IVF, that I needed a lower BMI that I am now. So at my first consultation, I brought up my concern with the doctor. I pretty healthy, I cook most of my meals, I try to exercise (try being the key word, sometimes I just am too tired), but I cannot sustain weight loss for the life of me. I plateau, I gain it back and it's just so discouraging. Between my PCOS, anxiety and depression, I just have everything working against me. I've come to a point in my life where I've accepted that fact and I'm ok that I'll never be skinny but I will not let it stop me from having a baby. So my RE referred me to a weight loss specialist to get me the help I need.

Last Friday I had my consultation with my new doctors office. As part of my treatment, I get a doctor, a nutritionist and a fitness specialist to help with all aspects. Talking about my weight has always been a trigger for me, I was nervous that I would be talked down to or scolded. Luckily, that was not the case. My doctor was really nice, we talked about my barriers and about how the brain/body adapts to any diet I try which is why I plateau every time. Along with talking about the psychological aspects of weight loss we also talked about how society has set us up to fail, making it super easy to eat processed foods, even when you don't realize it.

So we came up with a plan to start off. I would begin food journaling to hold myself accountable for what I'm eating and where I'm going wrong. Try to achieve a 1600 calorie a day diet with more protein to keep me full (I'm bad at that). To combat my PCOS insulin resistance and to curb my appetite, he prescribed a medicine that will combat the biological issues I have working against me. I have a group nutritionist session in December and a follow up with the doctor in January.

It's been 7 days since I met with the doctor and I have already lost 8 lbs (but I did have my period this week, so probably less in reality...but let me have this win). I'm struggling with the 1600 calories but I'm being honest with what I'm eating and paying way more attention to the macros. I'm trying hard to be purposeful with my meals and follow the proportion suggestions.

Today my medicine finally got approved by insurance and filled. I'm nervous because I've never had to inject myself before but I am excited at the prospect of something finally working. I looked up reviews of the medicine and people seem to have really good success. Come on 2020, I could use a win.